was it worth it?

Because I’ve been going through a few things, I haven’t posted on here in a few weeks. Battling mental breakdowns, crazy ideas, and the flu, I feel like I should share some thoughts with y’all that I have had for a while. This post is going to be about my coming to Nashville and my decision to go to Belmont. My experience hasn’t been the same as some of my peers. If you’ve had the same struggle with Belmont or Nashville, I’d love to talk to you about it.

By the time I was a senior in high school, I was ready to get out of North Carolina. I thought Nashville and Belmont were going to bring me a new sense of joy and happiness. But since I graduated from Belmont, I’ve only felt disappointment. Disappointed in a major that just left me with more questions; disappointed in an industry I have so much passion for; disappointed in people who I had faith in; disappointed in friends who stopped talking to me once we graduated.

My major at Belmont was Entertainment Industry Studies (EIS). When I chose this major, it stood out to me because one of the recommended career paths was Tour Management. I would eventually come to realize there were no courses directly related to tour management in EIS. Then when I showed interest to my advisor in Audio Engineering, he ultimately shut me down. The funny thing is he is an Audio Engineering Professor, and I had a class with him that I passed with flying colors. After some time, I just decided that I would be an entrepreneur, and eventually, I would own a music venue. I knew that it would be a long time before I got there, but I needed to find a place to start in the industry. Since graduating, I haven’t been able to nail down exactly where to start, but I figured with a job at a label or management company, I could find what I love. Though, I didn’t think it’d be so hard to get an interview. I have expanded my interests and applied to 100+ positions in Tennessee, North Carolina, Georgia, Florida, New York, and California and haven’t received a call for a single interview. That makes me think, “What’s wrong with me?”

What do I have to do to find a job? Everyone says it’s about networking, but there’s only so many times I can meet the same people. How do I stand out? How do I get people to remember me and want me for their open positions? It’s all a little discouraging. When I chose Belmont, I thought it as highly regarded in the industry, but I haven’t had anyone look at it highly since I graduated. I even had someone tell me at one point that people don’t like to hire Belmont graduates because “they are lazy and are living off mommy and daddy.”

I have set so many high expectations for myself, but I don’t feel like there is any way to achieve them at this point in my life. I continue to think, “What if?”, but there is no going back now.

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I did the damn thing 🎓

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